Comments on: Dead Woman Walking http://mondoweiss.net/2008/04/dead-woman-walk.html The War of Ideas in the Middle East Mon, 13 Feb 2012 20:25:41 +0000 hourly 1 By: Jim Haygood http://mondoweiss.net/2008/04/dead-woman-walk.html/comment-page-1#comment-61814 Jim Haygood Mon, 29 Nov 1999 23:00:00 +0000 http://www.philipweiss.org/mondoweiss/2008/04/09/dead-woman-walk.html#comment-61814 <p>Like Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe, Hillary Clinton wants to win with less than half the votes. That's extreme. So a radical makeover is required. Surely the science of hair transplantation has progressed to the point that she could sport a little pencil-stripe vertical mustache like Bob's -- a discrete mini-mohawk on the upper lip. Mugabe's photo:</p> <p>http://image.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2008/04/04/mugabe276.jpg</p> <p>No more free ride for Barack Obama on his pheromonal invocation of black sexual prowess. The furry little erogenous bud on the philtrum of Hillary's labium superius oris would forever trump that voodoo hoodoo ... while spawning endless speculation, reminiscent of her husband's "boxers vs. briefs" kerfuffle, as to whether the downstairs decor matches the upstairs.</p> <p>She could even fashion a kaballistic interpretation, from the Talmudic folktale that the philtrum is where an angel touches an unborn child to make it forget the wisdom taught in the womb; thus, Hillary's blessed stigmatum of prenatal cosmic wisdom.</p> <p>Cuz lately, every song I hear is about Hillary: "She's a lonely thing, sweeping up the glitter as she pulls the strings" (Jason Isbell, "Razor Town"); "Wide-eyed and wistful, pretty blonde shiksa girl" (adapted from Dave Carter, "Cowboy Singer"); "Ah said, the girl turned ripe and the pickerrrs came today" (Merle Haggard, "The Girl Turned Ripe").</p> <p>It don't matter. Hillary Rodham -- Bad Sister, Mother Goddam, honey chile -- you was born to lose.</p> Like Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe, Hillary Clinton wants to win with less than half the votes. That's extreme. So a radical makeover is required. Surely the science of hair transplantation has progressed to the point that she could sport a little pencil-stripe vertical mustache like Bob's — a discrete mini-mohawk on the upper lip. Mugabe's photo:

http://image.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2008/04/04/mugabe276.jpg

No more free ride for Barack Obama on his pheromonal invocation of black sexual prowess. The furry little erogenous bud on the philtrum of Hillary's labium superius oris would forever trump that voodoo hoodoo … while spawning endless speculation, reminiscent of her husband's "boxers vs. briefs" kerfuffle, as to whether the downstairs decor matches the upstairs.

She could even fashion a kaballistic interpretation, from the Talmudic folktale that the philtrum is where an angel touches an unborn child to make it forget the wisdom taught in the womb; thus, Hillary's blessed stigmatum of prenatal cosmic wisdom.

Cuz lately, every song I hear is about Hillary: "She's a lonely thing, sweeping up the glitter as she pulls the strings" (Jason Isbell, "Razor Town"); "Wide-eyed and wistful, pretty blonde shiksa girl" (adapted from Dave Carter, "Cowboy Singer"); "Ah said, the girl turned ripe and the pickerrrs came today" (Merle Haggard, "The Girl Turned Ripe").

It don't matter. Hillary Rodham — Bad Sister, Mother Goddam, honey chile — you was born to lose.

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