Below you will find a painful exchange of emails over Gaza between two Kansas City friends who disagree. You can skip my homily and go to them right now!
Here's my homily. As I keep emphasizing, it is essential right now for the Jewish family to break apart over Gaza, and for friends to break with one another over Gaza. Otherwise there won't be a debate, there won't be political movement. The two large signals of this new process were 1, Rabbi Marc Gopin's statement a few weeks back that antiwar Jews should stop arguing with their neoconservative cousins and start talking to Arabs instead; and 2, The American Conservative's amazing issue with Dan Levy, Glenn Greenwald, Avi Shlaim and John Mearsheimer writing about Gaza.
We've reached a Which-side-are-you-on moment in American life, and people should form their alliances on the simple basis of Do you think the Gaza slaughter was good for American foreign policy? Jeffrey Goldberg answered, Yes. (Which reminds me that Bill Kristol praised Goldberg at Yivo 2 years ago. So, they can have one another now, and AIPAC and the Republican right, too.) J Street and Dan Levy said No. They are building their own coalition, on the left. Who will speak to Obama?
No doubt, this division is a painful process. It's happened in my own extended family. Below are two emails received by Andrea Whitmore, an outspoken activist in Kansas City, from a former close friend and neighbor, a Jewish woman who read Whitmore's statements about Gaza. Andy Whitmore and the former neighbor have given me permission to quote them, because they both think they're right. I'm leaving the neighbor's name out just because I disagree with her so much, and I think this is intimate stuff, and don't wish to expose her to harsh criticism on this site. For I believe that harsh criticism of her position is merited. (Phil Weiss)
1. The former neighbor writes:
Andy,
been a long time since we've communicated and I've refrained from
responding to your many postings regarding the situation in the Middle East. Sadly,
I've come to the realization and one that I would have never expected
to have concluded about you, that you apparently harbor anti-semitic
feelings. How else could any rational person explain the position
you've taken? I wonder what you would do to protect your children and
grandchildren if rockets were continuously fired at you/them on a daily
basis; in total disregard of a cease
fire agreement?
have returned the territories that they did to the
Palestinians…The English learned years ago that you can't
negotiate with these people. They're not honorable. They fight
amongst themselves and Israel has been their scapegoat for the past 60
years. Personally, and I know my feelings are harsh, Israel needs to
extricate and deport them. When you have a cancer, the only hope is to
treat it with radical means.
Israel's survival… They're in an impossible situation. There will
never be a negotiated settlement. The only thing these people respect
is brute force. If someone attacked my children, I would go after them
with whatever means I needed to protect them.
their actions. It's discouraging to learn that the concept you've had
of someone is totally mistaken. I definitely had different
expectations of you. I'm terribly disappointed. How pathetic. You're
not the person I thought you were.
[signed]
2. Andy Whitmore writes back to the neighbor. She paraphrased this to me: "After a few attempts at reason (and
getting responses from her relatives accusing me not only of
anti-semitism but of being shallow), I wrote back that further
correspondence would be counterproductive, and wished her well. I bet
that sad scenario is happening over and over among friends and
families. It's really depressing."
3. Response from the former neighbor:
I was trying to decide how I would respond to what you wrote and
realized that perhaps I needed to explain why I feel the way I do.
Yiddish was my 1st language.
one. I remember hearing stories of my Grandparents' families being
murdered during the Holocaust.
I remember "Greenhorns", who successfully survived the Nazi's, who came
to stay with us as they established themselves in America. I remember
my Grandmothers filling little blue boxes (pishkas) with coins, and holding fundraisers to help establish the State of Israel. I
also remember my ear being pulled by the older sister of a girl, who I
considered a friend, and being called "a dirty Jew". Dottie's parents
and older sister were German immigrants.
I'm afraid you're mistaken. Apparently, you've never understood the
story of Passover or Chanukah. The lesson is one of survival, as is the lesson the Jewish people learned from the tragedy of the Holocaust: to survive.
thought to be an extremely sweet person. I guess, I never really knew
you. In your note, you implied that I was using the "race card" by accusing you of being an anti-semite. Your argument wasn't surprising since it is a rather predictable cliche…. Since you have such strong convictions, I would like to ask you a few questions:
democracy, no women's rights. Nothing has changed. Their leaders
could not tolerate the seeds of democracy growing in the Middle East.
Rather than take the responsibility and improve the living conditions
of their people, with the wealth they had gained from their oil
interest, it was easier to teach their people that it was Israel and
the Jews that were preventing them from having a better life. Arafat
and the PLO leadership stole millions that were given to their people,
to better their lives, and instead hid the monies in their Swiss Bank
accounts. What is it about them that makes you such a rabid supporter?
[Signed]
