One American’s awakening: ‘I was 7 when they punched my grandfather in the face, and none of the men in my family dared say anything’

(Anyone new to this blog should be aware that while it has a Jewish character, it represents an effort, in the new global environment, to cross borders and hear what members of other groups have to say. This is both a selfishly-curious desire on my part and also an effort at service: to use journalistic skills to try and change American understanding. Yesterday I was emailing with a young Palestinian-American woman in California who told me some wrenching stories about her relatives but said I couldn't put them on the site. Why not? Because some Americans associated with Al Awda (a Palestinian group dedicated to right of return) have been prevented by Israel from even visiting the territories because of their outspokenness. Then I asked this woman her story, and she wrote the following. Ten minutes later another email came in which she apologized for giving in to her "crazy" in sending this to me. But I said I found it moving and helpful; and she said I could post if I did not use her name. I usually remove profanity from postings. This is a vital exception.–Phil Weiss) 

My parents are both from the West Bank. They came here in the 60's and my older siblings and I were all born here. I wish I could be a normal 25 year old and just care about getting high and watching Cribs but I can't. It's getting harder and harder for me to focus on anything other than this issue and I am finding less and less people for me to feel "comfortable" around.

At the height of the bombing my best friend wanted me to stop watching Al Jazeera and go SHOPPING with her! Totally fucking senseless! Yeah, OK, I'll pretend like I didn't see a kid's head sticking out of the rubble like a freaking horror movie and I'll go to Nordstrom's with you and try on boots? Seriously?

People don't want to hear this shit, and I'm scared that Obama will come off as being "progressive" on this issue when he really isn't and that he will inadvertently legitimize the Zionist position on Palestine.

I don't think I want any of this on your blog, I'm just ranting now and I am pissed. I've been so fucking pissed since I was 7.

That's the first time I ever understood what occupation and apartheid meant. When I went to the West Bank for the first time to meet my grandparents and I saw my grandfather get punched in the face. I was getting hassled (at age 7!) by the soldiers because I couldn't understand what they were saying to me, I didn't understand their accents so my grandfather interjected and told them I was American and they punched him in the face and told him to mind his own business. I saw my dad and brother go white with rage but then at the same time there wasn't shit they could say because that 18 year old hooligan with a gun might decide to throw everyone in jail or worse. Very humbling experience. Nobody likes to see people disrespected or dehumanized in that way.

But in that flash– to see all the men in your family psychologically mindfucked like that is something else.

About Philip Weiss

Philip Weiss is Founder and Co-Editor of Mondoweiss.net.
Posted in Beyondoweiss, Gaza, Israel/Palestine, US Politics

{ 48 comments... read them below or add one }

  1. Eurosabra says:

    You haven't heard of al-Awda. THE big, international Palestinian mainstream Diaspora group, the one that most consistently demands the unconditional return of all refugees and their descendants, the most uncompromising in its demands for demographic shifts that will undermine the State of Israel, the one that is most explicit in its intent to restore the status quo ante 1917, the one that has put together the most effective networks in the Diaspora, and you've never heard of them.

    You don't know what the people you claim to be supporting want at all, you just want to erase the State of Israel.

  2. Eurosabra says:

    I hope your friend gets therapy before she becomes another Diaspora Palestinian suicide terrorist like Ali Abu Kamal, the Empire State Building shooter. I've met people who live on-site in Palestine who have less dangerous, self-destructive rage, and someone who is living surrounded by American society, formed by it and of it, should have better options than the Muhijabbiya in Fort Lauderdale who was shouting "Jews back to the ovens. You need a big oven."

    She's fascinated by the horror and addicted to it and clinging to nightmare visions in the face of Nordstroms risks incipient psychosis. And shit, fuck, piss, gotta sock it to The Man with my shocking language. She's just a pissed-off kid, living with her rage like every generation of Palestinians and thinking it's something special. The IDF guns down tens like her each year when they grab for a soldier's gun, usually because, being male, they don't have impulse control. And her home is America, her Diaspora attachment to the West Bank, but she belongs to an organization that calls for Palestine from the river to the sea, i.e. no Israel.

    I think posting on your blog could be helpful for her, but not in the way she expects–it could open her up to discussing volunteer experience on the ground in Palestine, a chance to share information about something concrete. If she's not exploring those opportunities, she's going to self-destruct LONG before anything she writes or does has an effect on the State of Israel.

  3. Sigh says:

    Euro, Israel's policy is to bring Jews from all around the world and have them settle on Palestinian land in Israel and in the Palestinian territories and thus continue to swallow all of historic Palestine, yet, you are concerned because Palestinians still living in refugee camps from their original displacement have advocates that think they have the right to go home? At least pick another reason to hate on Al-Awda, the one you chose makes little sense.

    1. What is Al-Awda's mission?

    Al-Awda, The Palestine Right to Return Coalition, is a broad-based, non-partisan, global, democratic association of grassroots activists and students. Our mission is to educate the international community to fulfill its legal and moral obligations vis-à-vis the Palestinian people and to support the refugees with direct aid and empowerment projects. Al-Awda develops, coordinates, supports and guides, as needed, global and local grassroots initiatives for action related to Palestinian rights. Our advocacy includes the right of Palestinians to return to their homeland, and to full restitution of all their confiscated and destroyed property in accordance with the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, International law and United Nations Resolutions which uphold these rights.

  4. Tommy says:

    This story is like pornography to Israelis.

    Everyone wants Israel to remain within its only legal borders and stop interfering with Palestinian self-determination.

  5. Eurosabra says:

    "Palestinian land in Israel."

    Tells me all I need to know about you.

  6. Eurosabra says:

    I mean, I don't think you meant a reference to the Land Law of 1961 and the ins and outs of various forms of (regrettable) discrimination in land law and use in Israel.

    al-Awda can do whatever they want, but within Israel, the state can use legal means to stop them. And frankly, the erasure of the State of Israel they propose is a reason for an Israeli Jew to oppose them, since their policy of the return of the ca. 300,000 actual expellees still living.

    Many Israelis oppose the creeping expansion of settlements, but they have no policy leverage as long as land is returned in exchange for assault by suicide bomber and rockets, sorry.

  7. Sigh says:

    Oh yeah Eurosabra, and you're real subtle so you're still a real "mystery" to me…

  8. Eurosabra says:

    "Since their policy is NOT the return of the 300,000 or so actual expellees still living."

  9. Israeli Zionist Jewish violence evolved from E. European ethnic Ashkenazi violence. The PDF file to which Traditional Jewish Attitudes Toward Poles provides some discussion of Jew on Pole violence but gives no good assessment of Jewish sabotage, murderous revolutionary activities, targeted assassinations, embezzlement, middle market restraint of trade, securities fraud, white slaving, and organized crime in general especially in Russian Poland in the 19th century.

    In general, the Russian Ashkenazi community was a major exporter of serious criminal activity throughout Europe, N. Africa, the Ottoman Empire, and the Americas.

    If I get a chance, I will post a Sholem Aleichem short story on Jewish white slaving in S. America to my blog.

  10. Jim Haygood says:

    'My grandfather interjected and told them I was American and they punched him in the face and told him to mind his own business.'

    Here again we see the bipolar aspect of the Israeli character — the same one revealed when they shell American and UN schools. Namely, Israelis crave American aid, but fiercely resent their American benefactors for putting them into a humiliating, never-ending position of dependency … of being a fledgling country that never grows up; never moves out of its American daddy's basement.

    The 'unbreakable US-Israeli friendship' which politicians bloviate about (because they're paid to) is like conflating a seedy whorehouse liaison into a grand love affair — both sad and ridiculous. This sick co-dependent relationship needs to be ended promptly, for the benefit of both victims plus a third party, the Palestinians.

  11. ahmed says:

    John Caruso has some insight on diseased minds.
    It appears that, for humans, once you've started down the road of hurting someone, you must continue. Indeed, you must hurt them even more to prove to yourself these people deserve to be hurt. That's because our psyche's Prime Directive is to preserve our self-image at all cost.

  12. Eva Smagacz says:

    The fact that our friends of Israel did not even comment on the story of this humiliating incident, but immediately turned on the victim of it implying that her anger at the violence is somehow an EXCUSE for such violence: It is there with battered women who deserve it, 5 year old sluts, rape victims that ask for it, and stupid goys who beg to be stitched up.

  13. Judy Stein says:

    Eurosabra reveals just how much work needs to be done to cut out the cancer she represents continually on the body of the world. She does not even paint a show of empathy for this traumatized girl, in order better to stick the hardcore Israel right medicine down. Not even the slightest respect for Phil, let alone this young Palestinian
    woman surrounded by the USA consumer society, now going down the drain.

    Instead, she ASAP goes into Hasbara slash and burn.

  14. Scott says:

    Before this thread get hijacked by Israeli blogging trolls (a category that definitely does not include the sincere if misguided Richard Witty), I'd like to express gratitude for the post, my appreciation for its eloquent passionate anger. Palestinian-Americans will likely be an important group in the coming decade I think, and their righteous refusal to just "go shopping" can be beneficial to all of us.

  15. Rowan says:

    eurosabra is not female. i thought so at first, too, I don't know why.

  16. Dan Kelly says:

    The right of refugees to return is not only sacred and legal but also possible. Demographic studies show that 80% of Israelis live in 15 percent of the land and that the remaining 20% live on 85% of the land that belongs to the refugees. Further, of the 20%, 18% live in Palestinian cities while the remaining 2% live in kibbutzim and moshavs. By contrast, more than 6,000 refugees live per square kilometer in the Gaza Strip, while over the barbed wire their lands are practically empty. Ninety seven percent of the entire refugee population currently lives within 100 km of their homes. Fifty percent live within 40 km. While many live within sight of their homes.

    The Right To Return, a Basic Right Still Denied

  17. Norm says:

    (Didn't work, sorry, everything is still italics…)

  18. Dan Kelly says:

    Controversial Bestseller Shakes the Foundation of the Israeli State

    What if the Palestinian Arabs who have lived for decades under the heel of the modern Israeli state are in fact descended from the very same "children of Israel" described in the Old Testament?

    And what if most modern Israelis aren't descended from the ancient Israelites at all, but are actually a mix of Europeans, North Africans and others who didn't "return" to the scrap of land we now call Israel and establish a new state following the attempt to exterminate them during World War II, but came in and forcefully displaced people whose ancestors had lived there for millennia?

    What if the entire tale of the Jewish Diaspora — the story recounted at Passover tables by Jews around the world every year detailing the ancient Jews' exile from Judea, the years spent wandering through the desert, their escape from the Pharaoh's clutches — is all wrong?

    That's the explosive thesis of When and How Was the Jewish People Invented?, a book by Tel Aviv University scholar Shlomo Zand (or Sand) that sent shockwaves across Israeli society when it was published last year. After 19 weeks on the Israeli best-seller list, the book is being translated into a dozen languages and will be published in the United States this year by Verso.

    When and How Was the Jewish People Invented?

  19. roy belmont says:

    Italicide. Redone.

  20. syvanen says:

    Eva's comment is right on. The interesting thing to me is Euro's reaction. It is an expression of the disease of unbridled hatred that moves Israel's actions. Pure pathopsychology. Total lack of empathy. The poor girl is somewhat self aware that her obsession with the violence and hatred are self destructive but she is guided by here emotions today. Euro is pure unempathetic hatred. If she had any normal human emotions she would sit back, feel a little guilty and look for a better story to express her patriotic duty to Israel.

  21. Eurosabra says:

    Someone shouldn't fall into full-blown psychopathology the way this girl describes from a punch in the face delivered to a relative, I've been blown up three times and I continued to work with Palestinians, live around Palestinians, all without the extreme dislocation she exhibits.

    The stress and self-harm of her rage will continue to victimize her on the other side of the globe from the West Bank, long before she "returns" to Israel. She's a typical spoiled 1st-world "Palestinian refugee" with no "off switch" on the rage, and however much sympathy I feel for her grandfather, I have the sinking feeling that she'll show up at some poor Israeli's door with a bomb belt and the classic cry of the American-passport Palestinian, "My beautiful old house!"

    One of the things you are constantly asking Israelis to do is own up to their own attitudes–it is disheartening to see someone who has suffered so relatively little rage so much.

  22. Eurosabra says:

    She lost a bit of my sympathy with "al-Awda". An American-citizenship West Banker who wants to "return" to Israel has a bit of an agenda regarding me and mine. Let her rage poison her life far from Eretz Israel, while I work on bringing diaspora Israelis and Palestinians together.

  23. Eurosabra says:

    Ali Abunimah. Because the son of the Jordanian ambassador to the UN has so much to teach Israelis about the "right of retun."

  24. Eurosabra says:

    Not hatred. Just someone I might have to dissuade from doing something stupid, eventually. And it's horrible what she's doing to herself.

  25. Jim Haygood says:

    'I've been blown up three times and I continued to work with Palestinians.'

    Yikes, it's the indestructible 'euroterminator.' Scarier than a suicide bomber.

  26. citizen says:

    Yeah, Eurosabra, "you blend" with inclusive humanitarians across the world. Actually, you give sabras a bad name. If you are a man, when did you serve in the IDF or US military? And, in what capacity? Do you have children?

  27. chris berel says:

    Interesting how you attempt to quantify humanity. Only your standards are good enough? Are you the second coming of Jimmy Carter. Just as senile?

  28. Eurosabra says:

    Citizen,

    Why should I share personal details that might make me "reachable" with someone who believes Jews are in improper influence on the US?

    Dr. Daniel Kliman sends his regards.

  29. chris berel says:

    Baruch Dayan HaEmet: Dr. Daniel Kliman
    California activist Dr. Daniel Kliman, 38, was found dead in an elevator shaft on Monday. He is being remembered in news and blog commentaries as a physician, an animal protection advocate, an environmentalist, a gay rights activist, a cyclist who founded Critical Mass bike rides in St. Louis and Alameda, and a pro-Israel activist who cofounded S.F. Voice for Israel.

    Kliman was an active member at an Orthodox shul in Oakland. The synagogue's rabbi told The San Francisco Chronicle, "The first words that come to mind for me when I think of Daniel are 'vibrant' and 'alive.' That's why this is such a shock. Whenever he was in the room, he was such a huge presence."

    (Posted from an animal rights blog)

  30. Steve says:

    She lost a bit of my sympathy with "al-Awda". An American-citizenship West Banker who wants to "return" to Israel has a bit of an agenda regarding me and mine. Let her rage poison her life far from Eretz Israel, while I work on bringing diaspora Israelis and Palestinians together.

    Posted by: Eurosabra | January 30, 2009 at 01:59 PM
    ———————
    Why belittle her right to return? How is her agenda different from that of Jews?

    You work to bring diaspora Jews together with Palestinians. Why do you leave out diaspora Palestinians?

  31. Tommy says:

    Al-Awda's description is similar to the Basel Program's.

  32. delia says:

    Dan: This thesis is not new. I've been teaching a variation on it to my students since at least 1999, when I first began to include Jewish and Middle-Eastern issues in my courses. The story is available to anyone who researches the archaeology, history, and pre-history of the Levant. There are many places to start this research. E.g., for a nice deconstruction of the political spin Israel puts on Jewish antiquities, see Nadia Abu El-Haj`s Facts on the Ground–the book that almost cost her her tenure at UChicago.

  33. MRW. says:

    Tony Karon has lots of historical info that faithfully contradicts Eurosabra's grinding revisionism. As in actual history with quotes, cites, and photos.

    To the 25-year-old who wrote the post. MANY OF US are hearing you. Dont lose heart. Join BDS.

  34. Glenn Condell says:

    'I hope your friend gets therapy before she becomes another Diaspora Palestinian suicide terrorist like Ali Abu Kamal'

    I would rather have a Palestinian Diasporan like her in the midst of my community than a Diaspora Jew like yourself Eurosabra. People like you are the worm in our apple, which still looks deceptively fresh on the outside, but is fast decaying within.

    The psychological mindfuck that results from a lifetime of oppression is ssad, but not evidence of cowardice. Had this lady's relatives responded violently, they would probably have been shot. Their restraint would have been shattering to them, but was the prudent course, under the circumstances.

    Talking of courage, I keep coming back to this brave woman, who defied a couple of callow IDF soldiers who were shooting civilian protestors, by repeatedly standing in front of their rifles:

    http://detainthis.wordpress.com/2009/01/08/one-very-brave-palestinian-woman/

    Pure courage, genuine righteousness. Why isn't she famous now, a paragon of courageous resistance to state terror? Had she been a Jew in late 1930s Germany, there would books, memorials, towns named after her. Who is she? Did anyone bother to try and find out? I know journalists were restricted, but surely someone could at least try.

  35. chris berel says:

    It would seem that most religions, from the oldest to the newest has some items that are beyond belief. The Mormon church and Islam certainly share their tendancy to steal from other religions.

    As chritianity is merely a Jewish cult, they can be excused for their wholesale theft.

  36. Jack Geaney says:

    Glen, this girl is really amazing isn't she. She is apparently Palestinian American Huwaida Arraf, co-founder of ISM, married to Adam Shapiro. Google her and you'll find more of the same big spirit.
    She is a cause for confidence.

  37. syvanen says:

    testing. Did I turn off those accursed italics.

  38. Ana Sanchez says:

    Chris,
    It is possible that you are a member of a cult, but Christianity is the antithesis of Judaism.
    Remember, Judaism is the religion of the chosen people, enjoying a unique relationship with their God, who instructs them in Deuteronomy to lay siege to their neighbors' cities and take over their land.
    Christianity, on the other hand, teaches that all men are brothers, all children of the same loving God, all equal in his eyes.
    Christianity is not an offshoot of Judaism since it negates the core belief of Judaism, the "special" nature of Jewish people. Jesus Christ let it be known that he was starting a radically new religion when he said "You cannot put new wine into old wineskins."

  39. Rowan says:

    I wonder, without great concern one way or another, whether berel really believes that anti-zionists, or anti-semites as he would probably say, pushed this nonentity kliman down the lift shaft. On balance, I doubt it. Berel never gives much of an impression of believing anything he himself says, though this may be simply because has never learned to write.

  40. Dan Kelly says:

    Thank you delia :)

  41. chris berel says:

    Ana, sorry to see that you haven't a clue. Please go back to school and learn something.

  42. Eurosabra says:

    Refugee return is a game of setting the boundaries for demographic superiority, which is why Palestinian refugee return groups refused Israel's ex gratia offer in '49 of 100,000 returnees, and have never acknowledged the return of ca. 100,000 through family reunification and another 100,000 through "illegal infiltration" in '47-'50.

    If we do indeed bring everyone "home", we get 10m Jews and 5.5m, Palestinians, so return for everyone is a non-starter for al-awda. If we make Israel the state of those there now or born there, we get 6m Jews and 1.8m Palestinians, including ca. 300,000 actual expellees born in Israel. For this it is necessary NOT to double-count Israeli-Palestinian refugees resettled in Israel. What al-awda wants is return for anyone who says he's a Palestinian but with Jewish demographics frozen.

    And you'd need to get a mutual ANC-style recognition of the other before returning even the few elderly people born in Israel would be possible. That is NOT happening, if you heard what the Hamas demos were shouting.

  43. Eurosabra says:

    Al-awda demos indicate that they want a return for the sake of demographic superiority, with the future nature of Palestine from the river to the sea to be determined.

    Hamas is not Ta'al, and is in fact likely to kill off Ta'al as it did Fateh. You could get guarantees of a transition IF there were a developed non-violent political culture in the Palestinian territories, but the demographic decline of Palestinian Christians is pretty much an indicator of what the fate of Jews in a Hamas-state is going to be. Or of any non-Muslims, actually.

    If Palestinians want to return the maximum number of people to a West Bank & Gaza Palestinian state at peace with Israel, I wish them the best. Unlike most Israelis, I believe that anyone born within Israel on or before May 14, 1948, should be allowed to return ex gratia. But refugee flows tend to be permanent, which means that Tunisia, Yemen, and Morocco feature the last Jewish communities of the Arab world.

  44. Eva Smagacz says:

    Eurosabra, where do you get your figure of 10 million Jews?

    By definition the return of the refugees applies to refugees.

    Are you saying millions of Jews left Israel in during Nakba and subsequent wars out of fear of persecution, and are seeking permission to go back?

  45. Eurosabra says:

    Eva,

    Exactly–anyone who says he is Palestinian is a "refugee", while no Jews are.

    Manipulative demagoguery for demographic superiority.

    Israelis look at that and laugh, and anticipate the day some 3rd-generation Arab-American college kid comes back to claim "My beautiful old house!"

    Since I lived in an "Arab-style" house built in 1951 on land owned by the Greek Orthodox Church, which collected my rent, I got to have a little chat with A LOT of Palestinian-American college kids. And it turned out that they just didn't want Jews there, the clear title of the land and the fact that my ancestors were Palestinian Jews notwithstanding.

  46. "She lost a bit of my sympathy with "al-Awda". An American-citizenship West Banker who wants to "return" to Israel has a bit of an agenda regarding me and mine"

    Does she have fewer rights than an American Jewish West banker who wants to 'return' to Israel?

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