Lots of folks are passing around an advice column from the Forward titled “When Mr. Right Hates Israel,” in which a 32-year-old woman asks if her relationship with a non-Jewish man who sees Israel as an apartheid state can work. From her plea:
I met a really great guy. I am okay with his non-Jewishness because it will not interfere with my Jewishness or my kids’ Jewishness. I am not okay with his politics on Israel, which he calls an apartheid state. I tell him he hasn’t read enough, but he says the military occupation, settlements and large numbers of Palestinians who have died are all he needs to know. I am a Zionist, my father was born in Israel, and I am wondering if this should be a dealbreaker, or if that is ridiculous and I should just get over it.
She gets three responses, headlined, “Red Flags Only Get Redder,” “It All Depends on Whether You Can Respect One Another,” and “This is a Good Opportunity to Challenge How You View Israel.” The first one is of course Zionist; Harold Berman writes:
Israel is in your heart and soul. This is not as if you were a Democrat, he were a Republican and you had mutually exclusive opinions about health care reform. This goes so much deeper. It is part of who you are, and is also integral to the Judaism you want for yourself and future children.
The last response, by James Ponet, a Yale chaplain, says Israel has had “grand’ achievements but is problematic for many Jews. The piece is a giant step forward. It reflects a real conversation among young Jews, normalizes the idea that people can “hate Israel,” and embodies the Zionist captivity in its premise that it’s no big deal to marry a non-Jew, the issue is how he feels about Israel.
P.S. A year ago I made an argument that George Orwell would hate Israel. I had mixed feelings using the word, but I felt it was earned.
Thanks to Annie and Adam.
“It is part of who you are, and is also integral to the Judaism you want for yourself and future children.”
That’s like saying Jewish identity is bipolar. There is the dark side of the torture and the lovely soft Israel of the ad agencies.
Judaism is not Zionism.
Much as one may want to see a happy ending for the couple described in your article, the reality is that such a relationship has no chance of success. Their different views on Israel is not something that they are going to be able to rationally discuss (at least she won’t) and come to a mutual compromise, as most married couples do. Unless she is one of those people who has an epiphany as she grows older and is able to distance herself from her zio brainwashing, the relationship is doomed before it starts.
Annie once told me not to “hate”, so I merely loathe, abhor, and view with complete disdain, the entity known as Israel, and all that it stands for.
Ponet’s piece was pretty good. Even Snyder’s was positive in the sense that she points out this is a matter of political differences, not a question of whether someone is a Jew or not. The “respect one another” part is a bit iffy, but yes, one often meets people whose political opinions on some issues are horrifying and you should still try to respect them as human beings. Doesn’t mean you should marry them. It might be hard marrying someone who supported Jim Crow or who couldn’t acknowledge Israel’s crimes. I’d tell the guy to move on.
How could “Mr. Right” consider marrying a defender of Israel? I don’t see it. This is a farcical scenario.
Not hard to see anybody who believes in any chosen people are a problem for the world, whether it’s American Exceptionalism (topic on Cspan Washington Journal this morning), or Jewish chosenness.