SNL on Hagel: ‘It is vital to Israel’s security for you to go on national television and perform oral sex on a donkey… Would you do THAT for Israel?’

(Hat tip Mondoweiss commenter Les)

About Annie Robbins

Annie Robbins is Editor at Large for Mondoweiss, a mother, a human rights activist and a ceramic artist. She lives in the SF bay area. Follow her on Twitter @anniefofani
Posted in Israel Lobby, Israel/Palestine, US Politics

{ 72 comments... read them below or add one }

  1. Fritz says:

    Unfortunately, the vid is only available for IDs from US. Would it be possible to get some more information about what’s going on there?

    • oh fritz, so sorry you can’t watch it..it’s just to die for. perhaps some posters can describe it for you. hopefully someone will transcribe it. it’s long and every line is fabulous.

    • thetumta says:

      I think this will allow you to watch it.
      link to download.cnet.com
      Hej!

    • Les says:

      And still another link which is where I first saw this.

      link to huffingtonpost.com

      • W.Jones says:

        Were you able to get it, Fritz?

        • john h says:

          Not from where I am, outside the US – bummer!

        • Fritz says:

          I got it, thanks for assistance in this technical matter. The SNL vid is really funny, but it was cut from the show, I learned! However, the real Hagel hearing or the Kennedy testimony, given by Phil, or also the vid from the hearing about Palestine/Israel with one congresswoman/man after another confessing their unshackable commitment with Israel are near to shocking.

        • W.Jones says:

          John, there is a program you can use to watch movies that are only available in the US. And did you try THETUMTA’s link, above, to CNET?

          I am not sure this will work for you:

          There is also a program that Americans can use to watch films available only outside the US too.

        • john h says:

          Thanks, the youtube link works for us.

        • W.Jones says:

          John and Fritz,

          There was a British TV series that came out in the last few years called “THE PROMISE”, that transitions from a family’s stories emigrating from the Holocaust and then to the present day with the attacks on Palestinians.

          The program was by Channel 4, and wasn’t available in the US on the internet, but other countries could see it. That was kind of odd, I thought. Were you able to view it, and if so, what did you think? The trailers looked good.
          link to channel4.com

          If so, would you happen to know how to view it if you’re in the US?

        • W.Jones says:

          To say more about the movie, it starts with a very sympathetic portrayal of the State’s founding, with immigrants jumping off an Exodus-style boat, some still wearing striped clothes. It shows an old newsreel with a banner on a boat saying “they destroyed our homes”.

          Isn’t this reminiscient of the story of the evangelical Pilgrims, who were persecuted in Europe and came to America for their own freedom and founded a new country without a people?

        • MRW says:

          Actually, W.Jones, this is backwards, believe it or not: “evangelical Pilgrims, who were persecuted in Europe and came to America for their own freedom and founded a new country without a people?”

          The Pilgrims were kicked out of England for being persecutors, ultra-religious fanatics, and general pains-in-the-ass. We had a long discussion about this with links and sources two years ago. It’s buried in the archives. Which goes a long way to explain Selma MA witch trials, and the shooting of Indians in the Pilgrims’ new land, and a church on every corner, and the puritanical roots of this country.

        • Bumblebye says:

          I found that googling “the promise peter kosminsky” brought up sites from which to buy dvd’s, episodes online in full, interviews with Kosminsky, etc.
          I absolutely loved the series, especially the historic re-enactments. The ‘now’ stuff I found a bit clunky, fitting in things that haven’t happened for years (suicide bombings), somewhat awkward romances, etc.
          My father was a seventeen yr old with the Royal Navy at the time. He was ordered to bring down the blue and white from what he still refers to as the SS President Warfield, folded it up and tucked it under his shirt before shinning down and handing it over to the scary, snarling crowd gathered beneath him. I think he’d been told to bring it back, but didn’t think he’d make it off the boat if he didn’t hand it over!

        • W.Jones says:

          When you say “we”, do you mean you and I?

          And if you are correct, have you proven or disproven the parallel where an ultra-religious group intolerant of others emigrates because of bad relations with European society and then achieves intolerance elsewhere, subsequently narrating the movement’s past in terms of a search for freedom? Or not? What do you think?

        • W.Jones says:

          Bumble,

          I thought it was a good action movie. One weird thing was that to run two storylines at once the young girl heroine Erin sometimes said she did not know what happened next because she didn’t get to that part yet. Meanwhile, she is trying to research the story in real-time modern Palestine. eg. She is trying to find a Muslim family and hasn’t even read up to what happened to them.

          Also, she seems to have more than 1 semi-sexual experience, which makes the movie sexier, but also seems to cheapen her as alittle promiscuous. Not being a prude: Just sayin’.

          Thanks for sharing the story about the “Warfield”. I think the sueside bahming clips were used to address this hairy issue of the conflict, putting it in perspective with similar acts from the 1940′s.

        • Bumblebye says:

          W. Jones
          SS Prez Warfield is better known now under the name Exodus.
          The character Erin rescues her Grandfather’s diary while he’s in hospital, takes it with her to Israel when she visits her friend’s family, and gradually reads thru it there. A few too many grimace-worthy plot devices in the modern day part. I suppose they had to knit the past to the present somehow.

  2. HarryLaw says:

    I don’t think Hagel would do it , but Senator Graham would, and he would enjoy it.

  3. RE: “SNL on Hagel: ‘It is vital to Israel’s security for you to go on national television and perform oral sex on a donkey… Would you do THAT for Israel?’”

    MY COMMENT: Based upon their past behavior, I have little doubt that most of our congressmen and senators would readily oblige Israel by performing oral sex on a donkey if asked to by Netanyahu and/or AIPAC! They might even pass special legislation allowing them to do it on live television so as to maximize the contributions they would get as a consequence of so fully obliging Israel! ! !

    SPEAKING OF THE CONGRESS’ PAST BEHAVIOR, BEHOLD ONE OF URI AVNEY’S BEST COMMENTARIES: “Bibi and the Yo-Yos”, by Uri Avnery, Antiwar.com, 05/26/11

    [EXCERPT] It was all rather disgusting.
    There they were, the members of the highest legislative bodies of the world’s only superpower, flying up and down like so many yo-yos, applauding wildly, every few minutes or seconds, the most outrageous lies and distortions of Binyamin Netanyahu.

    It was worse than the Syrian parliament during a speech by Bashar Assad, where anyone not applauding could find himself in prison. Or Stalin’s Supreme Soviet, when showing less than sufficient respect could have meant death.
    What the American Senators and Congressmen feared was a fate worse than death. Anyone remaining seated or not applauding wildly enough could have been caught on camera – and that amounts to political suicide. It was enough for one single congressman to rise and applaud, and all the others had to follow suit. Who would dare not to?
    The sight of these hundreds of parliamentarians jumping up and clapping their hands, again and again and again and again, with the Leader graciously acknowledging with a movement of his hand, was reminiscent of other regimes. Only this time it was not the local dictator who compelled this adulation, but a foreign one.
    The most depressing part of it was that there was not a single lawmaker – Republican or Democrat – who dared to resist. When I was a 9 year old boy in Germany, I dared to leave my right arm hanging by my side when all my schoolmates raised theirs in the Nazi salute and sang Hitler’s anthem. Is there no one in Washington DC who has that simple courage? Is it really Washington IOT – Israel Occupied Territory – as the anti-Semites assert? . . .

    ENTIRE COMMENTARY – link to original.antiwar.com

    • P.S. ALSO RE: “I have little doubt that most of our congressmen and senators would readily oblige Israel by performing oral sex on a donkey if asked to by Netanyahu and/or AIPAC! They might even pass special legislation allowing them to do it on live television so as to maximize the contributions they would get as a consequence of so fully obliging Israel! ! !” – me (above)

      A RELEVANT QUOTATION: “You can’t use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him on the snout!” ~ From ‘The Education of Henry Adams’, By Henry Brooks Adams (American journalist, historian, academic and novelist, 1838-1918)
      The Education of Henry Adams by Henry Adams – link to gutenberg.org
      The Education of Henry Adams: An Autobiography (Google eBook) – link to books.google.com

      P.P.S. Henry Brooks Adams’ paternal grandfather was President John Quincy Adams, and his great grandfather was President John Adams.

    • john h says:

      Superb, so relevant and apt, thanks for the reminder.

    • P.P.P.S. AND RE: “Based upon their past behavior, I have little doubt that most of our congressmen and senators would readily oblige Israel by performing oral sex on a donkey if asked to by Netanyahu and/or AIPAC!” – me (above)

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    • In answer to the question…”Is there no one in Washington DC who has that simple courage?”. I think Chuck Hagel has it. That’s why Bibi and Sheldon Adelson are almost desperate to beat him. It is simply not in Hagel’s nature to say things he doesn’t believe in. Another person to keep your eye on is new Senator Angus King of Maine…I would consider him the polar opposite of a histrionic phony like Lindsey Graham

      The opposition to Hagel would evaporate immediately if Sheldon Adelson put his wallet back in his pocket.

      • it’s not just his wallet. the christian zios are going full swing with over 400 hagee activists from texas in DC. they’re full on nutcases.

      • Blank State says:

        “I think Chuck Hagel has it”

        You musta missed it when he crawled into the hearings and promised absolute fealty to the status quo.

        • Hagel and Obama go back eight years. I think Hagel came into the hearings having satisfied himself that he was sufficiently in accord with the policies and values of Obama that he could, in good conscience, execute those policies.

          Did he make a crisp smooth presentation? No. Give me wisdom and integrity any day over smooth operators. Think: Rummy, Bibi, Cruz, Graham.

  4. edwardm says:

    Wow, I almost thought I’d clicked the wrong link. Stunning realism.

  5. Has anybody showcased it anywhere as another instance of advancing antisemtism on the Hill and in the Hollywood?

  6. jimmy says:

    Lindsey Graham Plans To Block Chuck Hagel, John Brennan To Get Answers On Benghazi

    link to huffingtonpost.com

    Speaking on CBS’s “Face the Nation” on Sunday, Graham said he was not going to let Chuck Hagel go forward as Secretary of Defense nor let John Brennan move ahead as CIA director unless he gets more information on the president’s involvement in the response to the consulate attack that resulted in the killing of Ambassador Chris Stevens and three others.

    here graham I know the answer…..

    the US helped destabilize Libya killed Qaddafi…

    need more

    • thank you jimmy, we’re already on that. i read it this morning moments after, got video too. link to cbsnews.com and was astounded. dragging hagel into the benghazi affair is a stunning leap. it just goes to show you how desperate they are and that they have nothing.

  7. radii says:

    the sketch is drawn out, crude, vulgar and accurately caricatures the current relationship between the U.S. and israel

    • Ellen says:

      Agree. Too bad. The hearing was a lode mine of great material for spoofs and great comedy. Instead the skit was as vulgar and silly as the actual hearings themselves.

      Too long, not really funny (but sure could have been) and cheap. SNL needs better writers.

  8. yourstruly says:

    heretofore?

    re: matters pertaining to the middle east?

    washington d.c.?

    israel occupied territory?

    & palestine?

    nonexistent?

    til only recently?

  9. pabelmont says:

    Who’d a thought that SNL could get it so right, but so late!

    I’m prolly missing something here, but it has been my impression — for several years, donkey’s years that is — that Benyameen N’hu as ALREADY asked all those congressmen (and congress-ladies, please don’t forget the ladies) to perform oral sex on a donkey in public and they did so eagerly — on camera — when Mr. Benyameen came to a (was it joint?) session of Congress and solicited and was rewarded with ever so many exhibitions of congressfolk doing oral sex on a donkey right there in our great nation’s capital (our great nation! but not the greatest nation on earth, nosiree bob, merely our nation).

    Who’d a thought that SNL could sink so high?

  10. seethelight says:

    Anyone know why the sketch was rehearsed but didn’t make it to the televised live show? Someone alerted the Lobby, which put the hammer to the head of NBC Entertainment, who then put the screws to SNL boss Lorne Michaels? The sketch was funnier than anything else SNL showed last night.

  11. Citizen says:

    The real hearing was more absurd, more hilarious. SNL could have polished up that crappy spoof as a rehearsal is merely that–instead, somebody got cold feet.

    • piotr says:

      All too frequent you have to sanitize the real life to make it merely grotesque. Still, I liked (what his name) the junior Senator from NC shouting “bring me the donkey”.

  12. Reds says:

    haha,

    Can’t wait for the “Free Speech” pro-israeli supporters to call for sanctioning SNL or how SNL hates jews even know it was unaired. I’d bet someone right now is lobbying for “balance”

    • sardelapasti says:

      Reds – “call for sanctioning SNL…”
      That’s what they wouldn’t do if they were as smart as they used to be.
      Either way, the TV boss is going to lose his job and more for leaving a recording of it accessible on the Web, the manager will be drawn and quartered without a day in court, the writer will quit for reasons unspecified, and the actors may have to try another career.

  13. Amar says:

    Not just funny but devastating!! I hope someone uploads it to youtube, it will go viral. Surprised its not on YT yet, I have a feeling that tremendous behind the scenes efforts are being taken to prevent it from appearing there. Its just too damaging for the lobby/Israel for this to spread.

    • I hope someone uploads it to youtube

      i just hope lots of people are caching copies of this and making a transcript because i wouldn’t be surprised if hulu pulled it under pressure any minute. it’s gold.

      • Les says:

        For the first time I found the way to save such files on my PC. Please try it for yourself because you will want to save other video files from the internet.

        To copy a video from Hulu
        1) Download and install KMPlayer
        2) Download and install Freemake Video Downloader

        3) In Freemake, enter the url: link to hulu.com
        which will download the file

        4) click on the filename where Freemake saved the file
        and
        5) select Play the file in KMPlayer

        [Incidentally the file was saved without the beginning advertisement.]

      • john h says:

        That’s what those of us outside the US need – a transcript – please, anyone?

    • tree says:

      On youtube now. Get it quick before it gets pulled.

      • eljay says:

        >> On youtube now. Get it quick before it gets pulled.

        Good skit. In the wise words of Homer J.: “It’s funny ’cause it’s true.” :)

  14. So how can we find out why this skit did not air? It is as funny or funnier than anything they ran last night.

    • tree says:

      Know how squeamish Broadcast Standards are with respect to sexuality, I would suspect it had more to do with the “oral sex” mention than with the spoof on the Hagel hearings. But SNL should have been aware of that and could have changed the script to omit that part. To me the funniest part was the black South Carolina Senator gushing about how much he loves Israel and how wonderful it is.

      “As an African-American Republican from South Carolina love of Israel is in my blood. (he starts to tear up..) I’m sorry, I just love that little country so much… ” etc.

  15. biorabbi says:

    Was that funny? Only a few laughs at the donkey sex, but it was lumbering IMHO.

    Lorne ‘Lipowitz’ Michaels was born on a Kibbutz in Israel so maybe he might be receiving directives from the ghost of Golda Meir.

    • Kathleen says:

      Lorne I believe has kept any humorous criticism of Israel or the I lobby off that show. Part of the better late than never crowd and a great change

  16. jimmy says:

    Huffpo where I post some…u can c me under oh-oh…..haha…only has 150 comments on this article

    here is one

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    Israel needs to stay the heII out of our politics, And worry about their own jacked up country!

  17. Jelperman says:

    Congress has always been in “Bring me the donkey!” mode.

  18. Kathleen says:

    As soon as I read the headline I started laughing so hard I could barely breathe. Then the skit omg they nailed it again and again. This is unusual for SNL. Israel and the I lobby have been off limits to criticism forever (like the Daily Show) on that program. This is big change and oh so accurate and funny. Daily Show of course has really been rocking the boat the last several years. But never NEVER before that.

    Thanks Annie.

  19. Qualtrough says:

    I understand that Lorne Michaels pulled this at the last minute, but made it available on the web. If that is correct, could his making it available immediately like that be a form of protest at being pressured to drop it? Just thinkin’.

    BTW. Hulu only works in the US and a few other countries, and to get Hulu overseas involves a big hassle with some kind of workaround. For those of us overseas something on Youtube is best.

    • Kathleen says:

      Is this skit only available on the internet? Went to watch this weekends SNL not on there, not last weeks. So is that it only available on the internet? This is an unbelievable skit. Very new for SNL. Not surprised Lorne kept if off the show Never NEVEr EVER has SNL had anything like this on their weekend show. Seth Meyers and Amy Pohler have had numerous skits where they rip into Iran etc. Seth Meyers has ripped into many world leaders but NEVER EVER ripped into Israeli leaders or the I lobby NEVER.

  20. yourstruly says:

    tail still wagging the dog?

    & for how much longer?

    justice for palestine?

    whereupon?

    everywhere it’s of, by & for the people?

    plus a just & peaceful world?

  21. In Chapter 2 or maybe 3 of House of Cards, the new Netflix-only series with Kevin Spacey, there’s a long segment of the plot devoted to a nominee for Secty. of State who’s nomination is derailed by Kevin Spacey’s character spreading innuendo about an old story in a college newspaper he edited that was critical of Israel. It mirrors the Hagel nomination controversy but must have been filmed or at least written before it. It even includes an interview with an ADL leader calling the newspaper article antisemitic.

  22. Citizen says:

    Algemeiner dug up this video of Hagel in 2008 saying US should talk with all the players in the Middle East, including Iran, Syria, etc & not be talking about attacking Iran. He says the Middle East is in the state it’s in precisely because the US does not talk to many of the players there. link to algemeiner.com

  23. Amar says:

    Another YT link:

  24. Eva Smagacz says:

    Now, with three views on the YouTube:

  25. Boston says:

    I emailed NBC and asked why the skit was not included on the tv show — offering my view that it was both funnier and much more cutting edge than anything they had put on the show in some time. I then suggested that I assumed it was pressure from that non-existent lobby or self censorship

  26. Kathleen says:

    Folks should link this wherever you can

  27. giladg says:

    So SNL has been inducted into the anti-Israeli thing. Ignorant idiots. People portray sheep like tendencies and are unable to think for themselves. The games left wing radicals will play and the levels to which they will stoop? New low point for SNL, but that is what they pride themselves on.

    • Amar says:

      So SNL has seen the light on the Israel/lobby thing. Brilliant folk. Senators portray sheep like tendencies and are unable to think for themselves….

      Fixed, giladg. ;)

    • sardelapasti says:

      Gilgad – Does this mean that you do that donkey without any discussion, not like these stooping, sheeplike people? Good for you. That’s what I call patriotism.

  28. eljay says:

    >> So SNL has been inducted into the anti-Israeli thing.

    SNL called a spade a spade: American politicians willingly abase themselves for supremacist “Jewish State”. It’s ugly and its embarrassing and, evidently, Zio-supremacists don’t enjoy seeing this dirty laundry aired so blatantly.

    >> Ignorant idiots.

    A wonderfully succinct description of Zio-supremacists.