On Saturday night I had a new friend to dinner, a Russian Jew who lives in the city who I met a few months ago thru this blog. He grew up in Siberia, spent a year or two in St. Petersburg, then moved to Israel during the great migration of Soviet Jewry, served in the IDF, went to an elite university, then came to the U.S. He works on Wall Street. In his 30s, devilishly charming, with a Russian-emigre wife who's as smart as he is.
They were bringing their little girl, and his parents, in town from Israel. My wife was alright with it. She'd never met my friends but she said, Fine. And though my friend was hesitant to bring his parents, and said there was a language barrier, that was out of the question for us. My wife doesn't care about language barriers. Nor does my mom, who was also visiting. She made an apple pie. I made spaghetti.
You could have small conversations with the parents. Mom seemed more serious. A librarian. Dad was like my friend, charming and artistic, with a wry smile. He had a ponytail. I got out my world atlas and they showed me the place they'd lived in Siberia. Norilsk. 70 degrees north. Most northerly city in the world. They went there under an agreement with the Soviet government to do 15 years. They liked it. Experienced a little antisemitism. But mostly they told a story about their dog, Charlie, a giant Newfoundland. They had to give the dog to a pilot. Why? He wasn't really ever part of our pack, my friend explained--his sex drive made him roam.
And soon after that the family left the Soviet Union, even though they'd put in their 15 years. Why'd you leave? "Everyone was leaving. You just went with the herd. The intelligentsia was leaving, in huge numbers," my friend said. "Of course there was the uncertainty about where the country was going, and the desire for a better life in a better place."
We talked about the troubles on Wall Street, and my friend held the table for a half hour. He spoke of the $1 million bonuses some have gotten, he explained mortgage-derived securities to us, and the reign of the "quants." He said that many people have been told they will keep their jobs, but who knows! he cried with a laugh. He told us how all the bonuses at Goldman dwarf the entire value of some banks.
His parents spoke a little of the economics of Putin's rise, about the computer industry in Israel, and about how good the health care is. I wanted to know about their house. I said, "Is our house like an average house in Israel?" This is my belief. My wife and I have 1800 square feet: a modern house in the woods, just one bathroom, which sometimes feels like a privation. But the parents looked around and shook their heads. They named a fancy neighborhood in Jerusalem where you might see houses like ours. That was quite a shock to my values/vanity.
They left and there were hugs all around. My wife went to bed. I leaned in the door to thank her. I was sheepish about having dumped an entire Russian family on her. I didn't know how she felt about it all till the next afternoon. Then she told me she'd found it an incredibly powerful evening. These people know the world in a way that we don't, she said. They've lived in Siberia, they've moved through three countries. They understand how life works in a way that we don't: they are not sentimental, they are philosophical. Did you notice how they were about the dog? Did you notice how he was about Wall Street? If he loses his job, he's not going into a vale of self-pity, he's going to find something else to do. They're realistic. They made me feel very limited and American, in my precious expectations, my upper-middle-class schemes. They seem to understand life, its ups and downs, and to see it all as interesting. Every bit of it.
Loved your observations. It is exactly why I married into a Jewish family. The in-laws and family friends were people from or descended from a dozen provinces in Eastern Europe and Russia. Some were capitalists others communists but all had a fascinating perspective on life and how to survive. Very sophisticated and also very funny. The zionists among them had scathing criticisms of Israel and the lefties could devastate socialist planning theories. Dinner parties could be real intellectual adventures.
It is really quite sad to see how the country their people founded has turned in such a despicable apartheid state.
Under Stalin Norlisk used have a huge Gulag camp dedicated to mining nickel.
That's quite a bit of country-hopping for one lifetime. He hasn't started studying Chinese by any chance?
I'd be curious as to his reason for leaving Israel.
Fascinating Phil. Interesting friends and family you have there. I love those sorts of conversations.
How'd they get citizenship in the USA so fast? Visa for work that Americans could do? How did he manage that?
It's always amazing to me how seemlessly Jews can move around the world. Russia, Israel, USA, how did he do it? jewish connections of some kind?
He got free public university training, then left the country?
Interesting:
We talked about the troubles on Wall Street, of course, and my friend held the table for a half hour. He spoke of the $1 million bonuses some have gotten, he explained mortgage-derived securities to us, and the reign of the "quants."
When did the "quants" see it coming? Did the huge amounts of money needed for Iraq and Afghanistan have an impact?
It feels he's been around here. Sounds like the beginning of a wonderful friendship.
Phil, if I were you I would invite that russian of royal azeri lineage living in Reno. I'm sure he has a lot to tell to you and us.
And of course, transilvanians are some of the most remarkable guys to have a long conversation, provided you cover all the femoral arteries in the house.
And we can send Witty to Norilsk, so he can learn a little bit about life itself and end his reliance on second hand accounts.
"not sentimental": you mean no love of country.
Your guest seemed uninterested in the looting
of the pensions of millions of people who strive to add value.Who created that system? Who allowed it? What will be the long term reprecussuons of it? He does not seem so reflective to me at all.
The new replacement Ponzi Scheme is already in the making, with both Demos n Repubs onboard.
So you extrapolate from people who were lucky in Russia, lucky in Israel, and lucky in America that anti-semitism doesn't exist and that Israel doesn't function as a refuge.
I think a glimmer of understanding might have come with the revelation concerning your house: Israel is a small, poor country for all but a limited elite. And the people you talked to are part of a transnational elite, with nothing particularly "Jewish" about their elite status and the portability of their skills, networking and tastes.
Thank you to your wife, for her insight. — Maybe you are preparing your readers for what might be ahead?… — Some of the commenters are probably right, and the Russians might not be interested in assimilating or integrating…
ps. Meant to ask: Why is woolgatherer listed as a tag?
This multiple-country, surviving change and privation business could also describe my Lebanese cousins and many Palestinians, too.
I am thinking of my cousins who live in the Gulf now, work in high tech (one of them running a mini-empire within a large tech corporation, overseeing a vast sales territory on three continents); they started out as village boys in South Lebanon, came to America on student visas in the 70s, green and awkward and uncool; got tech degrees and decent jobs here; then climbed up the ladder, ending in the Gulf. Their kids go to international schools, have American accents and citizenship, vacation here.
One cousin and his OB-GYN wife refuse to have live-in servants – they do their own cooking, too. The other cousin is so busy that they have succumbed to the full complement of staff. They also keep a big, nice, new house in our little village in South Lebanon, and the teens (from different cousins) love to spend the summers there – it's like camp but in the bosom of our tribe, surrounded by aunties and relatives and people we've known for generations.
ANyway. Our village was sacked and destroyed in 1985; my grandmother killed; the rest of our people fled to the four corners of the planet; and 23 years later I sat in the restored family home with the survivors, the holdouts, the cousins who never left Lebanon but only went into internal exile, the uncles who did leave but returned after two decades in the States… their offspring also live across the planet, from America to Australia and many points in between.
Human beings can survive a great deal – it's amazing. We Americans don't really know trouble. Yet. But we can survive it, too… Look at New Yorkers after 9/11, the courage, grit, compassion, resourcefulness and even wit they showed. We are all capable of that, I believe.
Leila,
How do you suggest healing the harms?
Many have been harmed and over long periods. It clearly must take intention and determination, and discipline to stick to the effort.
"How do you suggest healing the harms?"
A good first step is to stop inflicting new ones. That will demonstrate your good intentions.
The foods offered focus on the sweet, in hopes that those consuming the food will have a sweet New Year. Fruits, sweet vegetables and honey abound in Jewish dishes for Rosh Hashanah.