Ynet’s article on Shakira’s visit to Israel used a photo of the singer with the caption, “Peres awaits”. The two will finally meet this afternoon during the press conference at the opening of the Presidential Conference. I imagine the president’s anticipation:
Shakira, my pop princess, I await you! I am as fresh and youthful (well, perhaps not so young anymore) as your new fragrance, S by Shakira – so simple, so lacking in discord. Here in Israel I have always promoted harmony, but it is not so easy as creating a perfume I assure you. We are a hated people, the Jews, and we have found sanctuary here on this small piece of land that we must constantly defend from the Arabs. Well, not all the Arabs – you are one of the few exceptions of course! There was the tiring war with Lebanon: the people are so stubborn there – it took some of our most sophisticated weaponry to repel Hezbollah and the people sheltering them.
They say I ordered innocent men and women and children to be killed with these flechettes, but they are just little arrows really, like those you shoot into my heart, pretty one! Oh, you are as sweet as nectar. Speaking of honey, we once had to set such a trap for a man – not a real man you understand: a traitor and a coward, Vanunu had revealed our secret – he had betrayed us; imagine how you would feel if that boy Gerard Piqué stabbed you in the heart like that.
Humanity and children are close to my heart too – this is why I like this Barefoot Foundation you have. You helped the Latino children who were victimized by poverty and displacement; it is terrible to think of, like in the darkest days of our Jewish history. Importantly we agree that education is the key: we start our little ones young, instilling in them pride in their country – we even teach them how to save the president from the Hamas!
Ah the vision of you surrounded, protected by our brave young soldiers in a united Jerusalem, and that boy Gerard, praying at our Wall (the Western one, I mean) gives me hope. Yes, hope that we shall overcome all these terrible things people are saying about our Jewish democracy: apartheid, war crimes! Forgive me, how can I even discuss such things in your company! Come, let’s talk about making the world a better place.
Hasta la vista!
Shimon (Peres)
