A fan is born

by on December 11, 2009 11

This morning in the bathtub, my wife related the latest news in the Tiger Woods scandal. She says she was never interested in Tiger Woods before. He seemed perfect and programmed, dreamed up at Stanford, and married to a white-bread woman. He was a corporate/technocratic creation, and she hated that. Now she finds him wildly interesting. The scandal has revealed that he has urges like the rest of us, and a deep problem. It seems to have ended the perfect fake marriage, exposed the realities of the golf world, and, in its Thai-ness, revealed cultural differences too. She doesn’t admire him, but finds him deeply interesting. Count on her to watch golf before long.

About Philip Weiss

Philip Weiss is Founder and Co-Editor of Mondoweiss.net.
Posted in Beyondoweiss

{ 11 comments... read them below or add one }

  1. Citizen says:
    December 11, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    What is the basis of her sudden interest in Tiger Woods? You don’t say, don’t even speculate. All you say is she is so interested now that even the goal of hitting a little ball into a hole will be attractive to her. Was she always attracted to stories about serial adulterers? If not, why now? Same question re any sports marketing image icons who used their power to seduce women? What is wildly interesting suddenly to her? That
    Tiger wanted to plug as many beautiful white women as possible? That his choice
    always went that way? That’s hardly an unknown syndrome. So, Phil, what are the
    cultural differences you refer to that have been revealed by his actions? That he
    attributed his power over white women to his mixed ethnic appeal? What is so
    interesting about gold-diggers or celebrity groupies, or those who take advantage of them? Would your wife find you freshly appealing intellectually (not otherwise) if it was suddenly revealed that you’ve
    been engaged in serial adultery, even with “high-class” prostitutes?

    • Queue says:
      December 11, 2009 at 12:20 pm

      I usually don’t care about celebrity scandals either, but the Tiger Woods one has somehow managed to grab my attention as well. It has several interesting aspects:
      1. All of Tiger’s women were very white, most were blondes
      2.Tiger’s wife is unmistakably more attractive than any of the pr0n-stars with whom he cheated on her.
      3. You have an interesting inversion of the usual domestic violence story with the wife beating up the husband.

      It all makes for one heck of a salacious tale, although I do feel bad for Tiger and his wife.

      • MRW says:
        December 11, 2009 at 7:58 pm

        I’m with you, Queue. Especially the plain fact that his wife is way more attractive than his other babes. However, what interests me is her coolness. What if, just what if, she turned into an absolute shrew after he married her? What if she shut down as soon as she got her babies? I have a couple of friends to whom that happened. They love their wives, or at least they loved what they thought they were marrying, and live bereft of everything except the kids they spawned. Both of these friends stay married, and sit with me over long drink nights every six months or so in tacky bars starring at the neon beer signs, not knowing what to do. Neither one of them cheat, but if they had Tiger’s fame, money, access, and travel schedule, I’m sure they would.

  2. Citizen says:
    December 11, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    Maybe you should have titled your article “A fan is bored.”

  3. Chu says:
    December 11, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    What a mess for all parties, fans and non fans. The hero becomes the villain. No wonder she’s interested. Before he was just a golf-wonk, now he’s so much more.

  4. Mooser says:
    December 11, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    “She doesn’t admire him, but finds him deeply interesting.”

    What on earth is interesting about adultery?

    • Danaa says:
      December 11, 2009 at 2:14 pm

      Mooser – did you really mean to ask that? would you care for me to clarify?

      • Mooser says:
        December 12, 2009 at 12:07 pm

        Please do! I have been married for twenty years this year, and have never found anything the least bit interesting about adultery. Anybody can do it, it’s easier than falling of a log into a swamp.
        Now, someone like me, who is fathful and loves his wife even more every year, even tho she shot her first husband, and will more than likely do me the same favor, too, now, that’s interesting.
        Look, you can make a case that at a certain time or place the “cover” of a conventional marriage was necessary for social or business advancement, but not any more.
        A guy who gets married before he is ready to embrace monogamy is just a prick, who has no respect for women or himself. There’s very little interesting about it.
        And that there are women who are willing to sleep with married men, that’s interesting?

        Me, I’m moving to New Guinea! Who could ask for anything else, as the song should have said (“…and you’ll never walk again, you’ll never… walk… again!”)
        Penis sheaths and a pervading belief that the company of women is ennervating to true manly men. All they need is Hammond Organ trios, and it’ll be heaven!

        Ah, but don’t pay any attention to me, whenever I get stressed out (what the hell am I supposed to know about Christmas shopping?) I dream of Papua, a penis sheath, and a stone ax. Merry Christmas Tuan

        • Mooser says:
          December 12, 2009 at 12:11 pm

          About the only thing lower than adultery I can think of is a Jewish father who doesn’t have the simple honesty to explain his marital prejudices to his son, and lay down what the consequences will be for marriage outside the tribe, but instead takes snarky little pot-shots at the girl, when Phil brings her home.
          Now, that’s class!

  5. MRW says:
    December 11, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    I read that his wife cracked Tiger’s front tooth with either a cell phone or the golf club. So maybe that’s why he isn’t making an appearance to explain himself: he can’t even leave his house to get his front tooth replaced. Ha. And those dental x-rays will be worth a fortune.

    Tiger’s first game out of the chute is going to be the most watched golf game in history. Count on TV cameras to scan the crowd for beauties. Those ad dollars are going to be near Superbowl rates.

  6. DICKERSON3870 says:
    December 11, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    RE: “She says she was never interested in Tiger Woods before.”
    MY COMMENT: I myself would like to hear more about Tigrē’s reputed piercings. ‘Enquiring minds’ just have to know!

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