Lyrics: Thomas Friedman
Music: Jerry Bock
If I were an Israeli looking at the Iran Deal,
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
All day long I’d dibby dibby bum.
If I were an Israeli looking at the Iran Deal.
I wouldn’t have to work hard.
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
If I were a dibby dibby Israeli,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle looking at the Iran Deal.
If I were an Israeli grocer, I’d just follow this deal on the radio,
I’d reject it from my gut.
And if I were an Israeli general, I’d share my grocer’s skepticism,
but know no enemy will ever out-crazy us into leaving this region.
Israel plays by what I’ve called “Hama rules” — war without mercy,
It is not pretty, but this is not Scandinavia.
The Jewish state has survived in an Arab-Muslim sea because its neighbors know that for all its Western mores it will not be out-crazied,
It will play by local rules.
If I were an Israeli looking at the Iran Deal,
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
All day long I’d dibby dibby bum.
If I were an Israeli looking at the Iran Deal.
I wouldn’t have to work hard.
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
If I were a dibby dibby Israeli,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle looking at the Iran Deal.
I’d fill my yard with nuclear weapons
For the region to see and hear.
Squawking just as noisily as I can
And each loud “This deal will bring war, it will spark a nuclear arms race in the region,”
Would land like a trumpet on the ear,
As if to say “Here lives a crazy Israeli man.”
The most important men in the world would come to fawn on me!
They would ask me to advise them,
Like a Solomon the Wise.
“If you please, Reb Friedman…”
“Pardon me, Reb Friedman…”
Posing problems that would cross a rabbi’s eyes!
And it won’t make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong.
When you’re Israeli, they think you really know!
If I were an Israeli looking at the Iran Deal,
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
All day long I’d dibby dibby bum.
If I were an Israeli looking at the Iran Deal.
I wouldn’t have to work hard.
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum.
If I were a dibby dibby Israeli,
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle looking at the Iran Deal.
With additional reporting from Adam Horowitz.
Tom, thanks for this. We’ve noticed the site is getting more mainstreamed in the last year, but this is huge for us. And you really are the best. You have wingspan and you can do the 30,000 feet and the ground level, like w the grocer. Do you think you could put in a word for me at the Op-ed page? Phil
Nah, can’t be Friedman. He hasn’t said anywhere that the next six months will be all-important.
Satire? Detracts from this website’s all important coverage of the coverage. Friedman is an important media voice, widely followed, and he has used his privileged position on the NYT OpEd page to call out Netanyahu for his failure of leadership. Isn’t that also worthy of coverage here?
Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBMnl_S8EzE
Without Friedman, I’d never have known that the world is flat.