Thursday night’s Republican debate broke new ground in the history of political rhetoric: it turns out that GOP presidential frontrunner Donald Trump’s dick is big enough, or so he claims. In front of a global audience — with the entirety of mankind as witness to US shame — Donald Trump responded to Marco Rubio’s jibes about his small hands by holding up his hands to show that they are plenty big, and that means his penis is big too.
“[Rubio] referred to my hands. ‘If they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.
The word penis was suddenly in mainstream headlines: “Donald Trump defends size of his penis,” CNN said. Others went with “dick.” Republicans around the country were shocked, and non-Republicans too. Mitt Romney said he hoped that children weren’t watching. “Depressing, horrific, a circus… awful,” said David Brooks.
“The end of the modern conservative movement,” said Rubio. Though after all it was Rubio who started it by questioning the size of Trump’s hands in the first place. “And you know what they say about guys with small hands,” he said last week, during a stream of the most personal attacks on Trump’s hair, skin, and continence, in order to try to climb back in to contention. Rubio even went after Trump for plastic surgery, saying “he should sue whoever did that to his face.” He called Trump’s plane “Hair Force One.”
It reminds us of a famous Republican line, Teddy Roosevelt saying in 1901, when he was vice president: “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” Wikipedia says that line, delivered at the Minnesota State Fair, defined Roosevelt’s realist foreign policy: “the exercise of intelligent forethought and of decisive action sufficiently far in advance of any likely crisis”
It is now engraved in US political history. A fate we do not wish on Trump’s penis moment.
— CNN (@CNN) March 4, 2016
Video available here.