My wife and I spent the weekend socializing in our community in the Hudson Valley. One of the things I do in this blog is try and report on the life of an intermarriage. We are both from privileged backgrounds but distinct tribes; the life we’ve made together is a privileged one. And the thing that strikes me forcefully from this weekend is that in privileged circles, Jewish and gentile pathways are intermingling almost seamlessly.
The best indication of this is the numerous references I heard to Jewish stuff at the three parties we went to. When I was younger, this would have been more of a source of social awkwardness. Now it is not an issue, though Jews were in a distinct minority at these events. So at one party two gay guys said they were getting married by a rabbi. At another, a man spoke derisively of Abe Beame as being a “short Jewish mayor,” like New York’s current mayor. I think the speaker was Jewish, but who cared? At an outdoor party yesterday I was at a table of non-Jews and in a true Woody Allen moment thought that a woman at the table had used the word “alter kocker,” which is Yiddish for old man. When I said something, everyone wanted to know just what alter kocker means. I tried to explain that it is both affectionate and derisive. At last I hit on the perfect explanation. “Older Jews are in a bind in this election, because it’s between an alter kocker and a schwartzer.” Raucous laughter, if I say so myself. People want to know Yiddish, it is a type of sophisticated lingua franca. The hosts of this party were also intermarried, but the sweeping view was that of an ancient estate on the Hudson.
I am saying that there is a comfortable acceptance of Jewishness in some high social circles in the U.S. It used to be that WASPs tolerated Jews because they were indispensable, as professionals, doctors and lawyers. When I was young, I remember visiting a high-WASP’s house in the country and looking through his father’s rolodex. My friend said that his father was antisemitic, but the doctors in there were Jewish. Now WASPs embrace Jews because we are such important players in American society. We have money. Consider this delicious phrase from the coverage of Congressman Eric Cantor, whom McCain is eyeing as a possible veep:
Cantor,
45, is a prominent Jewish Republican with a talent for fund raising,
which he has used to help the McCain campaign in recent months.
Ah, euphemism. One consequence of the Jewish “talent for fundraising” is that Cantor’s rightwing love of Israel is sort of taken for granted in establishment circles and not openly discussed. I think it’s impolite to address it directly or questioningly. Israel is imbibed by all along with the Yiddish. So even gentiles are Zionist in a mild unthinking way (like Walter Russell Mead, the minister’s son who attacked Walt and Mearsheimer in CFR’s magazine). At one party I went to, a weedy gentile kid had just returned from a trip to Israel that his new Jewish stepfather had compelled him to go on. He went reluctantly, but had a great time.
Meanwhile, it’s impolite to talk about Palestinians in American society. I noticed that last night on “60 Minutes” Steve Kroft interviewed Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum, the Dubai dictator who is visiting Bush right now. Al-Maktoum said he loves everything about America, except our foreign policy. When Kroft asked him what about our foreign policy, Al-Maktoum said he would bite his tongue, but Kroft pushed him to mention the Iraq war and Iran. He did not mention Israel. A similar self-censorship prevails in establishment circles in the U.S. today. Do we have to bring that up? As I say, everyone’s a little bit Zionist, because it’s easier.
Last weekend I spent with my own tribe, in Cape Cod. My wife was back here, on deadline. Israel came up a few times, usually because I brought it up bumptiously, and the impression I got of American Jewish attitudes towards Israel is that they are not well-informed. One guy said that Israel’s Arab neighbors have threatened it with extinction forever. A liberal woman said she knew little about the conditions of Palestinians, because she finds it too complex and upsetting. This is simply denial. Denial in one quarter, liberal Jews. Blank passivity in another. So no wonder the crazies rule the conversation.
