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Mondoweiss readers predict Netanyahu’s presentation to the U.N.

on 22 Comments

On Friday we put out the call for predictions on what Benjamin Netanyahu might bring to the U.N. this week and you delivered. Here are some of our favorites, and it’s not too late to send yours! We’ll keep posting them as long as we get them, but of course, it’s more helpful to Netanyahu if you give him ideas before his speech on Tuesday. Keep’em coming!

Vargha Dâna thinks Netanyahu will just go with scare tactics:



Aleksandr Kalinin posted this to Twitter. He must assume Netanyahu has hit an art class in the past year:


William Zaslavsky believes Netanyahu will show his softer side:

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Talknic doubts Netanyahu’s case will stand up:

netanyahu UN 2013 02

John Lewis-Dickerson says Netanyahu will offer a history lesson:

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Some hit similar themes. First Jamal Abdi:

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Then, Walter Young titled, “circulus in probando”:


Finally, not everyone used our template, but then again, why mess with perfection? From Edward Givens:


Send your entry to [email protected] today!

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22 Responses

  1. a blah chick
    a blah chick on September 29, 2013, 3:27 pm

    As a favor to my fellow Mondoites I have gotten an advance text of Mr. Sara’s speech. I shall annunciate the main points:

    Holocaust! Death Camps! Never Again!

    There, now you don’t have to listen to the darn thing.

    • Kathleen
      Kathleen on September 30, 2013, 2:35 pm

      Iran is a threat to Israel, the U.S. and the world community! That will be the theme song

  2. seafoid
    seafoid on September 29, 2013, 3:50 pm

    Holocaust 2.
    Never again* (except for the Palestinians)
    We are civilized
    The Arabs are barbarians (but not the Jewish Arabs who are the backbone of the Likud)
    We want peace
    They don’t
    We are really smart people
    We are just like you
    I speak really good English
    I have a 10,000 year old iphone here that was found at Masada that belonged to Benjamin Netanyahu III who was friendly with Uh the Hittite, 7000 years before the alphabet was invented
    I’m still the same turd I was when I was 27

  3. just
    just on September 29, 2013, 4:12 pm

    Henny Penny and Wile E. Coyote morphed — with stained and stinky, soiled diapers that not even a devoted mother could/ would change……………………

    How I wish that I was clever or rich enough to photoshop……..

    {I just hope that I don’t vomit when IT speaks.}

  4. Bumblebye
    Bumblebye on September 29, 2013, 4:13 pm

    For a good belly laugh, here’s what himself has to say:

    “Officials say Netanyahu will present evidence of continued Iranian efforts to attain a nuclear weapon, and will urge the US and others not to be taken in by Rouhani’s charm offensive.”I will tell the truth in the face of the sweet talk and offensive of smiles,” Netanyahu said on Saturday night before boarding his plane to New York. “One must talk facts and tell the truth. Telling the truth today is vital for the security and peace of the world and, of course, it is vital for the security of our country.””

    • just
      just on September 29, 2013, 4:34 pm

      Bibs (or Babs, as in Bubbling, Babbling Brook NO truth– not ever) wouldn’t recognize the truth if it hit him and his mighty supporters squarely in the face.

      • Bumblebye
        Bumblebye on September 29, 2013, 5:04 pm

        Ah, but as a raving ethnic supremacist, who is so contemptuous of those not as favored as himself, he is arrogant enough to believe he can say anything, call it truth, and the lesser beings will believe him!

  5. Shmuel
    Shmuel on September 29, 2013, 4:14 pm

    Mr. Secretary, Mr. Obama, anti-Semites,

    There are no words in Hebrew for war or hatred or nuclear weapons. Sadly, in Farsi, there are no words for peace, love and children. Contrary to the Iranians – we have no way of expressing concepts such as wipe or map or even pages and time. Ours is a language of hugs and cuddles, puppy dogs and hot apple pie with vanilla ice cream. If you allow Iran to attain nuclear capability, the whole world will need to learn Farsi in order to truly grasp the depths of their depravation. I ask you, no, I beg you, please don’t let that happen. For the sake of the kitty-cats, the little babies, soft lighting, Barry Manilow and all the things we hold dear – and they can’t even pronounce – stop that bomb.

    Thank you

    • eljay
      eljay on September 29, 2013, 4:30 pm

      >> Sadly, in Farsi, there are no words for peace, love and children.

      Man, them Eye-ray-knee-uns sure is turrible folks. God bless Amurrika! Now let’s all help that Baby Netty-yahoo guy nuke them f*ckers!

    • just
      just on September 29, 2013, 4:40 pm

      Oh Mandy………

      Now, may I present Barbra?

      “You’re enjoying your day, everything’s going your way, then along comes Debbie Downer, always there to tell you ’bout a new disease, a car accident or killer bees You’ll beg her to spare you, ‘Debbie, Please!’ But you can’t stop Debbie Downer!”

      So goes the theme song of Saturday Night Live’s famous party-pooper, as played by Rachel Dratch, in a role that will now be assumed, much to his regret, by Benjamin Netanyahu. The Israeli prime minister arrives in New York on Sunday morning with overweight baggage full of stern warnings, dire predictions and apocalyptic prophecies all aimed at throwing cold water on the Administration’s victory celebrations.

      Because there’s no denying that from President Obama’s point of view, it has been a weekend of unprecedented diplomatic triumphs. His historic phone call with Iranian President Rohani, followed a few hours later by the unanimous Security Council endorsement of US-Russian plan to rid Syria of its chemical weapons, were like back-to-back walk-off grand slams in a crucial baseball doubleheader.

      Even if neither of these developments could have been foreseen a month ago, as a senior Administration official admitted on Friday, there was no denying the loud cheers of self-congratulation that emanated from Washington in their wake.

      Many people may believe that Obama has been more lucky than clever, but the Administration’s narrative of developments in recent weeks was nonetheless unequivocal. The president’s threat to attack Syria was the sine qua non that led to Friday’s rare Security Council consensus, just as Obama’s forceful leadership of the international campaign to impose sanctions on Iran was the trigger for Rohani’s recent election, his trip to the UN and the new opening that has been created to resolving the outstanding nuclear dispute with Tehran.

      So what may seem to many Israelis as a dangerous trip in la la land is perceived in the White House as a potential affirmation of central tenets of the basic world view that Obama brought with him to the White House five years ago: judicious use of America’s military power and diplomatic clout to enlist the international community against rogue regimes; resolute prevention of proliferation of weapons of mass destruction; reengagement in and rebuilding of multilateral bodies such as the United Nations, the International Atomic Energy Agency and the Organization for the Prevention of Chemical Weapons.

      These diplomatic breakthroughs are doubly prominent against the backdrop of the ongoing paralysis in Washington and the Gog and Magoggian wars in Congress pitting the Ted Cruz – Tea Party wing of the Republican Party against the rest of the world. The looming showdown over Federal shutdown and the Affordable Care Act not only threaten to deprive Netanyahu of much of the media attention he would otherwise have garnered, it also depletes his reserves of usually-reliable allies against what he surely views as the Administration’s naïve complacency towards Damascus and Tehran.

      With the Republican Party consumed by its own internal convulsions, it is small wonder that many of the usual voices warning against “selling out” Israel or comparing Munich 1938 to Tehran or Geneva 2013 fell unusually silent throughout the recent days of Rohani’s courtship of America. Politicians and pundits who would normally echo much of the arguments that Netanyahu is bound to make were more preoccupied, with the potentially existential threat to the Republican Party rather than the one said to be confronting Israel.

      The volume of objections to Rohani’s message voiced by Jewish leaders and organizations was also uncharacteristically low, for a variety of reasons, including, of course, the Succoth festival. But Jewish groups may also have felt inhibited because of Rohani’s deft if disingenuous deflection of the Holocaust-denial controversy and out of fear of appearing to be reflexively hawkish, following their support for Obama’s now abandoned militancy in Syria as well.

      Obama and other Administration officials will doubtlessly do their best to calm Netanyahu’s fears and to carefully his reservations and recommendations in private meetings, as well as to show their empathy and backing in public. With the American media, swept away at times by Rohani’s charm and promises of new beginnings, Netanyahu will have to be at his public relations best.

      But when he comes to the United Nations on Tuesday to serve as the last speaker at this year’s General Assembly, Netanyahu will discover that the party’s over, the barricades have been dismantled, most of the foreign leaders have left town, the journalists have turned their attention elsewhere and most observers have concluded that all in all, it was a great success.

      Only the future can tell whether Netanyahu’s warnings will be borne out or refuted, but in the meantime he runs the risk of being portrayed as a perennial party-pooper and a chronic Cassandra. At a time when Washington and the rest of the world prefer to be sunny and optimistic Netanyahu – to cite another song made famous by Barbra Streisand in “Funny Girl” and Lea Michele in “Glee” – is coming to town to rain on their parade.”

      • MHughes976
        MHughes976 on September 29, 2013, 4:56 pm

        More lucky than clever? He cuts a strange figure, unenviable in presiding over a government that is, at least in some technical, politically ambiguous sense, all but bankrupt but threatening to start a war in which every shot costs a thousand pieces of gold.

    • annie
      annie on September 30, 2013, 1:06 am

      Mr. Secretary, Mr. Obama, anti-Semites,

      i split a gut laughing at this and then couldn’t stop laughing the whole way thru shmuel. you have a gift.

    • bintbiba
      bintbiba on September 30, 2013, 8:15 am

      Giggle , giggle!!!
      Not just erudite , learne’d and wise, but funny!!!!
      Once more,…. ‘how do we love thee, let us count the ways’ !!

      • bintbiba
        bintbiba on September 30, 2013, 8:17 am

        “but funny too!!!”

      • bintbiba
        bintbiba on September 30, 2013, 9:25 am

        Giggle , giggle!!!
        Not just erudite , learne’d and wise, but funny too!!!!
        Once more,…. ‘how do we love thee, let us count the ways’ !!

        Sorry for the messy comment… Shmuel, annie.

    • Kathleen
      Kathleen on September 30, 2013, 2:38 pm

      Shmuel …so clever, spot on and hilarious

  6. DICKERSON3870
    DICKERSON3870 on September 29, 2013, 4:27 pm

    RE: “On Friday we put out the call for predictions on what Benjamin Netanyahu might bring to the U.N. this week and you delivered.” ~ Adam Horowitz

    MY COMMENT: The Israeli media/press have also delivered! ! !*

    * SEE – “Israel TV: Iran will have enough uranium for a bomb in 2 months”, by Times of Israel, 9/27/13
    Earlier Friday, Israeli newspaper quoted government security source saying Islamic Republic already has at least one nuke
    LINK –

    P.S. URI AVNERY ON THE SORRY STATE OF THE ISRAELI MEDIA/PRESS: “Israel’s Weird Elections”, by Uri Avnery, Counterpunch, 1/04/13:

    [EXCERPTS] . . . The Israeli media are already to a large extent neutralized, a creeping process not unsimilar to what the Germans used to call Gleichschaltung. [SEE: Gleichschaltung @ Wikipedia – J.L.D. ]
    All three TV channels are more or less bankrupt and dependent on government handouts. Their editors are practically government appointees. The printed press is also teetering on the brink of bankruptcy, except the largest “news” paper, which belongs to Sheldon Adelson and is a Netanyahu propaganda sheet, distributed gratis.
    [Naftali] Bennett repeats the ridiculous assertion that almost all journalists are left-wingers (meaning traitors.) He promises to put an end to this intolerable situation. . .
    . . . In the coming four years, the official annexation of the West Bank to Israel may become a fact. . .
    . . . If the government continues on its present course, this will lead to certain disaster – the entire country between the Mediterranean Sea and the Jordan River will become one unit under Israeli rule. This Greater Israel will contain an Arab majority and a shrinking Jewish minority, turning it inevitably into an apartheid state, plagued by a permanent civil war and shunned by the world.
    If pressure from without and within eventually compels the government to grant civil rights to the Arab majority, the country will turn into an Arab state. 134 years of Zionist endeavor will come to naught, a repetition of the Crusaders’ kingdom.
    This is so obvious, so inevitable, that one needs an iron will not to think about it. It seems that all major parties in these elections have this will. Speaking about peace, they believe, is poison. Giving back the West Bank and East Jerusalem for peace? God forbid even thinking about it.
    The weird fact is that this week two respected polls – independent of each other – came to the same conclusion: the great majority of Israeli voters favors the “two-state solution”
    , the creation of a Palestinian state along the 1967 borders and the partition of Jerusalem. This majority includes the majority of Likud voters, and even about half of Bennett’s adherents.
    How come? The explanation lies in the next question: How many voters believe that this solution is possible? The answer: almost nobody. Over dozens of years, Israelis have been brainwashed into believing that “the Arabs” don’t want peace. If they say they do, they are lying.
    If peace is impossible, why think about it? Why even mention it in the election campaign? Why not go back 44 years to Golda Meir’s days and pretend that the Palestinians don’t exist? (“There is no such thing as a Palestinian people…It is not as though there was a Palestinian people and we came and threw them out and took their country away. They did not exist.” – Golda Meir, June 13, 1969) . . .


    • DICKERSON3870
      DICKERSON3870 on September 30, 2013, 12:33 am

      P.S. ALSO RE: “On Friday we put out the call for predictions on what Benjamin Netanyahu might bring to the U.N. this week and you delivered.” ~ Adam Horowitz

      MY ADDITIONAL COMMENT: The Shabak (Israel’s “Homeland Security”) has also delivered! ! !

      SEE: “Shabak Nabs Alleged Iranian Spy–Surprise!–Same Day Bibi Leaves for UN to Skewer Iran”, by Richard Silverstein, Tikun Olam, 9/29/10

      [EXCERPTS] The Israeli Shabak announced with a flourish today that on September 11th it had apprehended an alleged Iranian spy who had been working on behalf of the Iran Revolutionary Guards. He is Ali Mansuri, 58, a dual Belgian-Iranian citizen. He went by the name Alex Manas when he entered Israel. He was born in Iran and lived there until 1980. . .
      . . . The Israeli security service claims that he visited Israel a number of times under cover of being a businessman. . .
      . . . Among the charges offered against Mansuri is this strange one:

      The detainee tried to aid Iran in its efforts to circumvent the trade embargo and transfer funds [internationally].

      Why and how an Iranian spy would focus on Israel as a target to transfer funds or circumvent the trade embargo makes very little sense unless he was attempting to export forbidden products from Israel to Iran. . .
      . . . My Israeli source confirms that the timing of this announcement is deliberate. Haaretz confirms this with the following:

      Exposure of Iranian agent: ammunition for Bibi’s UN speech

      Yediot (Hebrew) also notes that Shabak uncharacteristically released this story before it had completed its investigation. Another reason to suspect political timing to the report.
      Bibi is desperate to change the momentum in world discourse away from Iran’s peace overture . . .


  7. Justpassingby
    Justpassingby on September 29, 2013, 5:40 pm

    Will the clown bring a holocaust survivor unto the stage this time?

    israel is obviously an enemy of america.

    • seafoid
      seafoid on September 30, 2013, 1:37 am

      He might try to up the beltway ante by siding with the teaparty and declaring obamacare antisemitic and telling new york the only way forward is US bankruptcy.

  8. justicewillprevail
    justicewillprevail on September 30, 2013, 4:45 am

    Judging by their recent propaganda efforts, I expect an actor with an ayatollah outfit wearing a KKK hood and holding a cartoon-style black bomb with fizzing lead to accompany the grand wazoo to the podium. Some blood-curdling rhetoric, a show of outraged apoplexy and a litany of unsourced, unverifiable ‘claims’ paraded as fact. Nothing new, then.

  9. just
    just on September 30, 2013, 7:37 am

    I know that he won’t be donning sackcloth and ashes………no public penance for the Netanyahu.

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